Ripple -Rough Cut

Today I showed Simon my rough cut of Ripple.
I had really good feedback with Simon.

Pull focus Neal waking up

Positive:

• The film shows the story
• Great camerawork
• Nicely cut between shots
• Good choice of music/score

Improvements:

• To add atmosphere sound
• Add a close-up of the bus leaving
• Work on the close-up of Neal's phone 
• Re-sequence Neal turning back to Linda (looks fake)

I am really pleased with the feedback. Having someone else to take a look at the edit means I can improve a lot that I may have not seen when editing it myself. The sequence when Neal turns to go back to Linda does look fake and needs changing slightly. When Neal is running for the bus Simon suggested having a close up to make it more clear. I am unsure as in the scene a bus departs as Neal stops. This is something I will take time to look at. 

Neal checking the time 

The major improvement that is needed is the shot when Neal gets his phone out to check the time. I am not certain whether to cut this out or try and resolve it somehow. As the image shows it is not clear what is being displayed on the phone.

Linda at the Riverside

There is little changes to be made for my edit which I am very happy about but will make the changes listed above and see how it works out ready to show Simon for a final edit viewing.