Script development

On Tuesday I had a tutorial session with Steve to have feedback on my script.

Steve firstly gave me my script back with a feedback report of his notes. We went through each page looking at what is good and what needs rewriting. This being my first ever screenplay I was expecting a lot of improvement to be made but Steve said it was a good story.

Story and Structure:

'The story has potential and a touching and nicely understated ending which is dangerously close to a moment." Steve told me that half of my script is scene 9 and lets the structure down. It needs more motivation from 'Linda'. Steve gave me a few suggestions to develop Linda more and add more drama to hook the audience.

Action and Dialogue:

My dialogue is 'too pedestrian and needs a firm trim'. Steve told me the dialogue is great but some parts are not needed. In the first half of my script there is 'a lot of running, hurrying and saving but in the second half the jeopardy evaporates'. Steve said I need to have more conflict and tension between the characters, also to keep it rushed.

Formatting and Layout:

'Formatting is almost there' Steve said that scene 9 is not one scene but about 4 or 5. I need to rewrite scene 9 and add more scenes. Each new location must have a new scene heading. With the brief stating to have one main location I did not want to use too many locations, Steve said that if I have used a location already it is no problem to go back and use it again. He suggested I visit back to used locations and have more flow otherwise the scene becomes boring. I need to be more concise and focused with stage directions too.


The feedback from Steve has helped a lot. I agree on what he says and what I need to do. Steve likes my story and thinks it works brilliantly but I just need to have the flow and energy to keep it going.